4 Psychological Roots That Inspire One Night Stand
Did you kill peach this year?
When your peach blossoms are blooming, what kind of relationship do you classify your relationship with?
Do you know the psychological needs behind your relationship?
I hope you will be seated under the guidance of a psychologist to grasp the core motivation of “sustainable development of love”.
The desire for “one night stand” is the human sentiment. “One night stand” generally refers to the sexual behavior of both men and women in a specific situation because of a momentary feeling, impulse, admiration, or the need to dismiss loneliness.
American sociologist John’s definition of “one-night stand” is: sexual behavior that occurs based on the sexual attraction of human animals, it ignores the norms that lovers should follow when they get along, such as personality, quality, and cultivation.
The essence of “one-night stand” is that the former is to satisfy the sexual and psychological desires of both sexes, while the other is to satisfy one’s sexual desires. It is essentially a money transaction.
According to Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, the desire for “one-night stand” originates from the call of “self” and is a manifestation of human instinct.
Freud once stated in A Future of Illusions that “Man is a low-energy mentally retarded creature governed by instinctual aspirations.
“So, the desire for” one-night stand “is human nature.
According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory, sex is the original need of human beings. It exists at any time and has no choice. Love is a high-level spiritual pursuit of human beings, which occurs in specific situations.there are choices.
Maslow once said: “An important aspect that distinguishes humans from animals is that he has self-control.
“So, heartbeat is not the same as action. Under most conditions, people can restrain the impulse desire of” one night stand “.
There are many types of “one-night stand”. “One-night stand” can be roughly classified into specific types according to different psychological motivations.
Sexual temptation one-night stand: by sexual instinct, has a great affection for a certain opposite sex, longing for intimate contact.
The behavior is to actively seduce the other party, wait for the other party to respond positively, and expect continuous close contact.
Revenge one-night stand: It comes from emotional damage, and has great resentment towards the person who loves (over), and hopes to make up for his psychological pain through sexual behavior with others.
The behavior is to actively seduce the opposite sex you like somewhere and expect the other party to respond positively, but you may not expect continuous close contact.
Bewildered one-night stand: Out of worry, I have greatly overcome some specific circumstances, feel very confused, and long for the soothing and warmth of the opposite sex.
Behavioural performance is half-pushing, longing for the satisfaction of sensory stimulation to surround the inner emptiness.
Suggestive one-night stand: It comes from situational suggestion. It has great curiosity, expectation and longing for sexual suggestion in certain situations.
Behavioural behavior is half-pushing and chasing “one-night stand” as a fashionable, popular or submissive behavior.
A prominent example of a sexually trapped one-night stand was the previous visit of a famous actor Jin Shan to a country in 1951. Jin Shan was very excited about the leader’s interview and said on the spot that he would have a good interview and write a good movie.
The leader appreciated this and asked her beautiful secretary to be a tour guide and interpreter for Jinshan.
But it didn’t take long before the two were found to have “made a mistake in bed.”
The leader was furious and ordered the female secretary to be shot.
Since Jinshan is Chinese, he was handed over to Chinese leaders.
Zhou Enlai ordered Jinshan to be returned to Beijing for processing.
After returning to Beijing, Jinshan was expelled from the party, revoked his administrative position, and received quarantine review.
Because of the tolerance and protection of Jinshan’s wife, Sun Weishi, Jinshan was prevented from being completely decentralized.
In December 1967, Jiang Qing still put Jinshan into prison on charges of “special suspect”, and was not completely liberated until the “gang of four” fell.
A prominent example of a vengeful one-night stand is the name of Simona, a close friend of former British princess Diana, who had a one-night stand with JFK, the son of former President Kennedy.
In 1995, Diana went to the United States to participate in royal activities.
Kennedy Jr. just started “George” magazine at this time, and wanted to expand his influence by interviewing Diana.
Diana rejected JFK’s request for an interview, but promised to meet him.
Unexpectedly, when the tall and handsome little Kennedy appeared in front of Diana, she immediately felt heartbeat, and the young Kennedy was enthusiastic about the sexy dress of Princess Diana.
According to Simona’s description, Diana said afterwards: “We started with personality, talking about topics one after the other, and eventually we went to bed. It was all a magical chemistry.
“At this time, Diana had not divorced Charles.Prior to this, Charles publicly acknowledged his betrayal of marriage on television, and Diana wanted to include revenge.
The appearance of Kennedy Jr. gave her a chance for revenge.
A prominent example of a bewildered one-night stand is the famous American player O’Neal said that he and the supermodel Cindy?
Crawford had a “night of passion.”
At that time, Cindy and the four-year-old Hollywood star Richard Gere just broke up because of the division of their childbearing, which made her once lost, depressed, and desperate for the comfort and consideration of others.
At this time, O’Neal had just joined the Orlando Magic of the NBA, and he was in a spirited mood. The two met and hit each other, so they had a one-night relationship.
After that, they did not renew their passion, as if nothing had happened.
A prominent example of a suggestive one-night stand is David the American cult leader who once enticed all adult women in the manor to have sex with him in the name of the lord.
He was eventually pursued by the government for possession of ordnance.
In order to avoid the arrest, David ordered everyone to run into the thick flames and commit suicide.
David declared himself to be Jesus’ helper, and he would give believers a permanent liberation.
He also claimed to be a living prophet, implying “if the Bible is true, then I am Jesus Christ.”
He used the mindset of the believers in wishing to possess extraordinary abilities to rule them and establish personal worship.
He tricked the female believers into saying that when the end of the world comes, he will lead everyone to heaven and kill the unbelievers.
Many female believers were moved by his lies, and they took the initiative to find David and took pride in going to bed with him.
”One-night stand”: From the “high-end” of the niche to the “low-end” of the public According to relevant psychological and sociological research, among the similar types mentioned above, sexual mutagenesis accounts for about 60%, and revenge accounts for about 20%, confusingThe type and the hint type each account for about 15%.
In terms of education ratio, sociologist Li Yinhe once said that “one-night stand” should be a common phenomenon in industrial society and urban society.
Indeed, a “one-night stand” without the constraints of love and marriage cannot be regarded as contrary to ethics as long as it is a wishful thinking that does not harm others or affect society;Inflicting different degrees of harm will bring serious consequences to the family and society.
Xia Xueyi, a professor of sociology at Peking University, suggested that “one-night stand” is more common among those with higher education, because it is mainly spread online. At the same time, the more highly educated people, the more able to explain their behaviors rationally, thereby achieving psychological balance.
Zhu Jianjun, a psychologist at Beijing Forestry University, also pointed out that from the perspective of the people he contacted, the one-night stand was mostly social white-collar workers.
The reason is that these people get married late, and some even fear getting married, but they also need sex, so they will look for sex partners.
In addition, some people may choose a free way because they can’t establish a stable marriage because of the big changes in their lives. They are in Beijing today and tomorrow in Shanghai.
Recently, a one-night stand survey report by mobile phone users launched by a well-known domestic website shows that one-night stand is becoming younger and lower-level, and is changing. One-night stand is going from a niche “high end” to a popular “low end” through various channels.
One-night stand-prone people in the survey were mainly students, and migrant workers from other places.
Experts say that most people who are prone to one-night stand are seeking stimulation. First of all, because they do not have a clear life goal, they hope to make up for the emptiness of life through irresponsible sex. Such behavior may eventually develop into what is said in psychology.”Sex addicts.”
Furthermore, due to the gradual opening up of the sex culture, the restraint of traditional morals has weakened, and people’s attitudes towards sex have become more open. Due to their lack of discrimination and self-control, migrant workers and students are easily vulnerable to “one-night stand”.within Temptation.
”One-night stand” myth: Suspended the worry and depression, but can not resolve the multiple crisis of the individual. In summary, the “one-night stand” can only be a little worry and depression for a while, but it can not be alleviated permanently.
In essence, “one night stand” is deceiving one’s mind while satisfying one’s physical desires.
Therefore, the expectation that men and women will have feelings and even bring marriage after the one-night stand is mostly self-deception.
Too much, one-night stand can cause multiple personal crises, such as a moral crisis. For self-condemnation of indulgence, especially for people with families, one-night stand is a psychologically fresh seasoning, but it is easierCan trigger self-psychological crisis and family crisis.
Not long ago, someone read a book and called it “Break Up After Daybreak”, which was about the “One Night Stand” recorded by 19 urban women.
Some of them are addicted to indulgence, while others are out of control for a while; others are out of regret after indulgence, and some are indifferent.
French sexologist Alan Esher pointed out that men’s desires are affected by body chemistry and need to be vented in time, while women’s desires are more affected by the brain and need to be fully padded.
Therefore, men seek excitement and freshness in one-night stand, while women seek affection and hope.
In fact, men ‘s attempts to “one-night stand” are mostly a dot, and sex is the starting point and end point; while women ‘s attempts to “one-night stand” are mostly a triangle, and the three lines of sex, love and self-protection are on one side.
Gray, a well-known marriage counselor in the United States, has a view that “men drill holes, women dig wells.”
That is to say, when a man encounters setbacks, the first thing he thinks about is to escape, just like hiding in a burrow, and then slowly recover. When a woman encounters setbacks, she first thinks of asking for help, such as sinking in a wellWaiting for rescue, very eager to get understanding and comfort from others.
Therefore, the purpose of “one-night stand” is often not in sex itself, but in soothing tense emotions.
In fact, physiological studies have also shown that when people are under stress, sex hormones are activated and sexual desire is increased.
“One night stand”, what exactly will bring to the cluster, I am afraid only the conscience of both men and women is the clearest.